Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Herr Hartmann photo off of Flickr Creative Commons Children in Debre Markos
I started out today in a funk. Q's asthma is worse (always is in the fall) and we were up for the 5th or 6th night in a row in order to nebulize him. Then it's a good hour before we all settle down. He was still coughing after the medicine so I went downstairs made him tea with honey. Still coughing a few minutes later I get out of bed again thinking sleeping with him might help. Y suggests putting Q in our bed with me and Y slept in his bed. We finally settled down at 4. I was awoken to Q asking me if it was time to get up. "What does the clock say?" I asked him as he was sitting up all chipper and ready to go. "There's a 6 and then a 5 and then a 7." Damn, I thought my eyes aren't even open and I'm late.
So a rush into the shower w/ Q saying he wanted breakfast before my shower - he's starving. Sorry buddy Mom is late. Shower rush down stairs and he's running around the house saying alien's are coming. When Q wakes up he wakes up. He has very little down time from 6 AM to 7:00 PM each and every day. He's also vocal and a bit loud. Y and I were spent. I have a cold and I think he has one two - although he wouldn't admit it if I asked. And Q is running in between our feet in our little kitchen. At one point we both said at the same time "Q Please!" which made him promptly disappear. I had finished ironing my shirt was putting that on as my coffee was almost brewed and ready to go into the thermos, looking at the clock and thinking 20 min late - that's not too bad considering but then when I went into the living room to gather my things there was Q sitting scrunched up in a corner of the couch looking very hurt.
So I sit down and ask if I had hurt his feelings. He burst into tears and hugged me. "I thought you didn't want me around!" Ugh, yuck, blch! This working mom thing sometimes just so totally sucks! I make him sit on my lap and look into my eyes and I apologize really big. I'm sorry. I used the wrong words. I was trying to think about what I needed to do and I should have stopped and said that to you. I would never want to hurt your feelings. I make mistakes too but the very worst ones are any that hurt you even for one little second. I love you.
Then lots of hugs. "Are you staying for breakfast?" No sweetness I'm late, but so are you, we all slept in but that's OK because you needed me more in the middle of the night than you do now while you eat and get ready. It's almost time for you to leave too.
So we left OK but I like our mornings to be special and this was not. Then the long drive to work and then work being so iffy. Working in the financial business right now - not fun.
So it's a little pitty party for me and my sore throat and then I read the following article. And now I'm not pittying myself but I'm angry at myself for not counting all the extraordinary blessings that I have.
I've posted the photo above because of all the things I hear those that come back from Ethiopia talk about it is the numbers of children without adults that seems to leave the biggest impression.


-C said...

Oh little Q sounds like such a sweet, sensitive little boy.

We had the exact same kind of morning. Both the girls somehow migrated into my bed last night and we slept terribly waking up late and with me barking out orders left and right as we were running around like crazy trying to get out the door. I hate starting the day like this with them. and I vow that it will be different tomorrow. Really wishing I could stay home with them all the time.

I am sorry you are feeling sick. That certainly does not make matters any easier.

The article you posted is heartbreaking. To think that these kids cannot go to school due to lack of food is unfathomable.


kristine said...

I had one year home with him when he was two - it was glorious. It's so hard sometimes. Usually we do OK but the middle of the night stuff is beginning to get us.

Tomorrow is another day. Ewww. I feel a song coming on - gotta go

Los Cazadores said...

Hi Kristine!

Thank you for the window into your parenthood world. :)

And thank you for the uber sweet comment you left on my blog and for posting the article in your post. After reading it, I printed it out for saving to add to my collection.

I'm following your blog with delight!


Tami said...

awww...I remember having a moment like that with my mother. Thank you for sharing.

Looking at the picture and thinking about all of the children puts a new perspective on things doesn't it?

Katy said...

I read this and see my future.