Dose of Realty

Often White people will think that Black people are being defeatist when Blacks try to tell the truth about what living in this country is like. I don't know how to go about helping people to jump over this psychological bridge to foster some real understanding of the situation. If we were to be defeatist, we wouldn't talk about these issues. We would live our lives trying our best to shelter ourselves (we will never be able to shelter our children) from the truth. More importantly we would not be preparing ourselves to help our children deal with these realities.

I've decided one way to help is to post news items about real life in America for those that are not White. Often we will not agree with the 'official' reaction. In the story below the school boards actions are completely inappropriate. Hopefully, there will be the occasional story where the official reaction is just. In any case it gives each of us an oppurtunity to reflect on how we as parents might have responded if it was our child in the same situation. The reality is, one day it will be our child.

Dose of Realty today is the story of the Black Student Union members at a school in Los Angeles. It's important to note that it is often our children that are trying hard and becoming involved that get singled out for abuse. The school's racial makeup is 45 % Hispanic, 30% White and 4.5 % Black. That's important too.

To read about their experience of being Black in America please go to:
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25419359/

Older Children

The more I am reading about Ethiopia and in particular the children that are referred to Horizon House, Wide Horizons transition center, the more I am pulled towards older child adoption. This is not an easy place to be. Infants are so much easier. An infant will not remember their birth parents being too ill to care for them or too poor to be able to feed them. There is less likelihood that they have been mentally, physically or sexually abused.

I spoke with AH at WHFC today. She told me that almost all the waiting children at Horizon House are adopted. The reason for this is that most of the children wait at their relative's or birth parents home. They only go to live at Horizon House once a family has been found for them. I have such mixed emotions about this. I understand the many reasons for this but my heart aches for them. As I understand it, and I could be wrong, the family somehow is in contact with social workers who are in the field. The social workers then start working to find a family for the child. Once they do they are taken to Horizon House. I have such sympathy for the family, for the child. Do the relatives, siblings talk about what is taking place? Are the children aware? How does it feel to leave an older sibling and go to a new country? It is all heartbreaking. I am beginning to look into whether we have the skills or can gain them to help mend the broken heart of a 4 or 5 year old who has lost everything. I'm hoping I can answer yes to that question. I've asked WHFC for the names of therapists in our area who work with children who have been adopted.